Religious Freedom
Christians extremists writing their values into public law.

Yes, Religious Freedom in America is only for Christians. Members of the Wiccan religion (which is substantially older than Christianity) learned this recently when Bob Barr wanted to force the US army to deny them the freedom to practice their religion. Always remember: freedom of religion only applies to legitimate religion. And who decides what is legitimate and what isn't? You guessed it.

Religious Persecution

domestic: any public policy that does not hand over the American institutions to far-right christians.

abroad: oppression of religious minorities, as long as they are Christian.

Freedom of Education
Closing down public education and giving the money to sectarian schools, so that all children may be taught to feel ashamed of their own sexuality, fear a vengeful, patriarchal god, and to believe that the Earth was created 5000 years ago.

School Choice
See previous item.

Left-Wing Bias
The conservative word for sanity.

Parent's Rights
The right of Christian fundamentalist parents to screw up the minds of their children in their own image. "Parent's rights" do not apply to gay parents (whose children should be taken away by the state), or to Cuban fathers.

State's Rights
The souvereign right of states to violate the civil rights of women and minorities without interference from the federal government. Does not apply when the majority of a state elects Al Gore to be president.

Democracy
A system where the people have the right to elect conservatives into public office and pass conservative laws by referendum.

The Rule of Law
Something that must be upheld unconditionally as long as it favours the conservative agenda.

Hyper-Technicalities
The rule of law, when it becomes inconvenient for conservatives.

The Liberal Media
A code phrase that expresses the perception that the conservative punditocracy on CNBC, Fox News, MSNBC and CNN is not radical enough, and that the preponderance of conservative and hard-right "think" tanks on the public discourse is still not overwhelming enough.

Traditional Marriage
The radical notion of a man and a woman marrying for love, not because of parental arrangement, as introduced in the 19th century by liberal activists, redefined over and over again in the 20th century to include "interracial" couples and many other kinds of marriages that were traditionally considered immoral.

Yes, indeed: there is nothing traditional about "traditional" marriage. Marriage as a legally defined union of love between one woman and one man is a recent invention. True traditional marriage is a loveless association, arranged by the parents for economic or political gain, or social status.

Changing the definition of marriage
The end of civilization as we know it.

Except when the right wing changes the definition of marriage, as in covenant marriage. Always remember: Right-wing politics are based on the consistent and methodical application of double standards.

Common Sense Values
Values only shared by Christian fundamentalists.

One of Gary Bauer's favourite tricks of the trade. Whenever he can't explain to a mainstream audience why he holds a certain view (because there is no reason other than religious bigotry), he claims that "this is simply common sense".

Judeo-Christian Values
See previous entry.

The Homosexual Agenda
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for gays and lesbians.

The Radical Homosexual Agenda
Gays and lesbians having the audacity to stand up and fight for previously mentioned rights.

The Gay Lifestyle
A certain way of living, just like the male lifestyle, the left-handed lifestyle, the blue-eyed lifestyle and the African-American lifestyle.

Special Rights
The right to not be harassed, fired, assaulted or murdered for being gay or lesbian.

That gays and lesbians are less than human..
is not a message of hate, but a message of love.

Proper sex education
Fear-based, "abstinence only" programs that leave adolescents ignorant about AIDS prevention and birth control, and tell them to "wait until marriage", which is particularly helpful for gay teenagers. For heterosexuals, marriage is the miracle cure for all social ills. A pregnant teenage girl will be fine as long as she gets married to the 15 year old who knocked her up.

Being pro-decency
Denying adult citizens the right to freely decide whether they want access to explicit sexual materials or not.

Pro-lifers
People who claim to value the sanctity of life above all else, but who are seldom known to be vegetarians or against capital punishment.

Child Pornography
Actual child pornography, but also photos of naked children in art books sold by mainstream bookstores.

Judicial Activism
Judges defending constitutional principles such as equality of all citizens under the law or the separation of church and state.

According to conservative thinking, the defining activity of a judicial activist is overreaching by inventing laws that aren't there, thus "legislating from the bench". However, most of the time, the phrase refers to liberal judges applying established legal principles that conservatives don't like, usually civil rights laws and the first, fourth and fourteenth amendment.

Ironically enough, the term judicial activism describes the activities of some conservative judges pretty well, who regularly ignore constitional protections, long-standing precedents and well-established legal principles to arrive at a predetermined conclusion. A good example is the recent Supreme Court decision in Bush vs. Gore, in which the conservative majority threw out not only the principle that state supreme courts should be the ultimate arbiters of state law, but in effect, democracy itself.

Judicial Restraint
The principle that only conservative judges may interpret the law.

Impeachment
A tool for conservatives to undo general elections and punish "activist" judges.

An impeachable offense
To hold views different from those espoused by the 700 Club.

Separation of Church and State
A liberal myth. What the framers really intended was for Christianity to be the state religion.

The US Constitution
A document inspired by and derived directly from the bible, the latter being traditionally known for its advocacy of democracy and freedom.

The First Amendment
The fundemental right of christian political extremists to freely voice their views, and to force those views on everyone else without interference from activist judges.

The Second Amendment
The single most important part of the US constitution. Civil Rights for the Right Wing = Second Amendment Rights.

The Fourth Amendment
"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated, to fight drugs and 'sexual immorality.'"

The Fourteenth Amendment
"The preordained entitlement of white, conservative oil millionaires to the White House shall not be denied through wanton acts of democracy and vote-counting."

Sexual Immorality
Anything that is not vaginal intercourse between a christian husband and his obedient wife for the sole purpose of procreation, with him on top, behind securely locked doors and with the lights out.

Franklin D. Roosevelt
A communist.

Ronald Reagan
The greatest man in all of history, second only to Jesus Christ.

Bill Clinton
The Antichrist.

Women's equality/reproductive rights
A left-wing code phrase for promoting lesbianism, abortion and witchcraft.

To Promote (...)
To acknowledge the existence of (...), where (...) stands for anything the Religious Right define as immoral (and thus did not even exist before the 1960s.)

Adultery
An action that automatically disqualifies a person from holding a public office, unless said person is a family-values Conservative (in which case it is a "youthful indiscretion").

Lying under oath

1. a high crime and misdemeanor (if commited by a liberal)

2. an act of patriotism (if commited by anyone in the Reagan administration)

Being Liberal
An obscenity.

Gungrabber
Anyone who does not agree with the NRA.

Treehugger
Anyone who does not believe that corporate special interests override the basic human right to clean air, soil and water.

Decent, hard-working Americans
The Religious Right.

Independent Thought
A dangerous aberration that must be discouraged at all cost.

Our tax dollars
Every single tax dollar there is. Only Christian conservatives pay taxes. No one else.

Our children

1. Every single child there is. Only Christian conservatives have children. No one else.

2. An abstract entity that is the reason why we must surrender our constitutional rights to a minority of religious extremists.

Our families
Every single family in this country. Only Christian conservatives live in families. No one else.

Ministry
Any Religious Right lobbying group.

Family Values
A meaningless buzzphrase that means whatever the Religious Right wants it to mean.

Tradition
The notion that no error must ever be corrected.

Prayer-Warrior
Someone who subscribes to the idea that God can be persuaded to join the Religious Right's cultural war if He is only pestered long enough.

Junk Science
Any scientific study with a conclusion that runs contrary to conservative ideology.

Upper Male Nudity
A threat to public morality.

Implied Nudity
Another threat to public morality.

The Christian Broadcasting Network actually uses these two categories in its movie reviews.

Fornication
Any sexual activity that someone somewhere in Alabama finds offensive.

Oral Sex
A perverted sexual practice invented by William Jefferson Clinton.

Pagan Worldview
Any non-christian philosphy.

Pro-Family Advocate
A hateful bigot who thinks that only he or she knows what is best for everyone else.

The Breakdown of the Family
Equal rights for and fair treatment of nontraditional families.

Local Self-Government
1. A desirable state of affairs (for conservative cities)

2. An offense that must be punished by federal law (for liberal cities)

such as in 1998 when the House Republicans tried to punish San Francisco for requiring city contractors to offer domestic partner benefits, directly contradicting their own party philosophy of favouring local autonomy over federal meddling in local affairs.

Secular Humanism
A communist (satanic, atheist, homosexual) plot to destroy God's own country.

Evolution theory
A theory that we know is wrong, so we don't need to look at the evidence.

Giving health insurance to the 42 Million Americans who don't have one..
is socialism and therefore completely and utterly amoral.

Social Engineering
Liberals trying to improve society according to their values. Does not apply to conservative christians trying to improve society according to their values. That would be called..

Taking Back The Culture
Social Engineering when done by conservative Christians.

militant
A general attribute of civil rights groups.

Activism
Liberals working to promote their value system. Usually comes with the lable radical attached to it.

Witnessing
Conservative Christians working to promote their value system.

Student-Initiated Prayer
Enlisting students to do the religious bullying and proselytizing in public schools that the educators are constitionally prohibited from doing.

Getting the government off our backs
A goal that must be accompished by keeping archaic sodomy laws on the books, taking away free speech rights to fight "indecency", removing a woman's right over her own body, and making laws that restrict who can get married to whom and what we can put into our bodies.

Compassion
Relentlessly judging and verbally abusing people who do not share christian fundamentalist values.
According to the Family Research Council, social and legal persecution of gays is compassionate because it discourages an "unhealthy" and "destructive" lifestyle.

Love
The same as compassion, but pursued with even more cruelty and unrelenting vindictiveness.

The Natural Family
A white, reborn, suburban Republican with his submissive, staying-at-home wife and 2+ kids.

Anti-Christian Bigotry
What the bigots accuse you of when you speak out against their agenda.

You know you've won a fight when your opponents start to co-opt your arguments. In recent years, it has become a fashionable argument for religious right bigots to claim that their critics are in fact the bigots!

Memo to the far-right: tolerance can never extend to the enemies of tolerance, because such tolerance would be self-defeating. To be opposed to the religious right agenda does not contradict one's liberal point of view, it is required by it.

WWJD (What would Jesus Do?)
A popular catchphrase in religious-right circles that has been coined to popularize the sentiment that Jesus, if he lived today, would support the religious right agenda.

National Sovereignty
The holy right of the United States of America to commit human rights abuses such as use and racially biased implementation of the death penality without criticism from other countries, to disregard international treaties, to force the "free trade" agenda of corporate supremacy on the rest of the world, to make a mockery of the U.N., to consume 25% of the Earth's resources while representing less than 5% of the population, to overthrow democratically elected governments in other countries and install fascist dictators in their place, to destabilize whole regions of the world by arming the local warlords, to invade countries to protect economic interests, to spy on the private communications of citizens of other countries, to use its intelligence agencies for industrial espionage against foreign companies, in short, to piously denounce so-called rogue states while acting as the biggest rogue state of all. (OPEC countries or countries that commit the offense of having a normal relationship with Cuba do not have a national souvereignty of their own).

Sandra Day O'Connor
A traitor to her faith, because she agrees with the religious right agenda only 50% of the time.

According to Pat Robertson, Justice O'Connor should have voted against "partial birth abortion" because she is a Catholic.

Tabloid Smear
When the press reports on the misconduct or the hypocrisy of a conservative.

A Revelation of the Truth
When the press reports on the misconduct or the hypocrisy of a liberal.

Freeping
What Free Republic users call the act of slanting an online-poll by flooding the poll with repeat votes. "Freeped" polls sometimes get reported by the news media as facts.

A recent example of a freeped poll was a November 27, 2000 Fox News online poll that showed that 92% of the American public want Gore to just shut up and concede. In reality, of course, the "poll" was meaningless, or about as meaningful as a poll drawn from the membership base of the NRA or the Christian Coalition.

Stealing an election
What conservatives accuse their opponents of doing while a right-wing coup d'etat is in progress.

"Just Get Over It"
What you should do after your voting rights have been denied by a far-right conspiracy.

No Tanks in the Street
The new standard for whether an election dispute was properly resolved or not.

Having an out-of-wedlock child